Welcome to Grand Master Baez Martial Arts

 

        
 

      Martial Arts, Philosophy& Mental Health 

Grandmaster Baez is one of the most recognized members of The World Takwondo Federation and The Internatioal, Taekwondo Federation,  He is authorized to provide testing under both federations.    The longer I practice martial arts, the more it becomes prevalent that the mind can change the very patterns that design the body. It can wipe away the mistakes of the past so to speak. It can prevent illness and promote wellness and can make you far more energetic and enthusiastic than ever before. Indeed, your mind can make you blissful.  My 40 years of directing Martial Arts Schools and facilitating special, motivational seminars, has ensured me that I am doing all I can for people who seek positive answers in their lives.

My study and research overseas has made it clear to me that health is not merely the absence of disease or just physical fitness, but a state of mental harmony and well being that permeates every cell of the body and every corner of the mind. Practicing martial arts helps in creating a balanced, controlled mind, and as you grow with sensitivity in your Martial Arts training, you will discover the vast positive energy within. You will discover the true happiness within your heart and learn how to live each day in a positive way, while enjoying your life to its fullest.

This happiness and positive energy is within your power, helping you deal with the stress and negativity that can make you seriously sick. As you continue to grow in awareness, self discipline and motivation, your emotional healing, creativity and strength will flow like water to all needed areas of your body, spirit and mind. I have tried the techniques learned from Martial Arts in my own personal life. I cannot begin to tell you how much better I feel, how vigorous, how young. Words alone cannot express the deep feelings I have built from my 50 years of experiences dealing with positive Masters. I have shared with thousands of individuals this learned knowledge and wisdom.

I have seen what this positive energy has done for so many depressed, sick and negative people who felt they were stuck in their lives, allowing feelings of negativity to fester and impair their lives. Our Positive Martial Arts training will improve family life, improve grades, help achieve goals, improve confidence, improve focus, help break bad habits and improve life as a whole. It is very important that you chose a training school that works with not just the physical aspects, but also assists in developing a positive, non-violent mind; look for a Master or Teacher that can assist you in developing positive leadership, growth, health, happiness and a optimistic outlook in life. The knowledge you obtain from achieving your Black Belt will last a lifetime and the benefits are endless.

Famous Quotes:

When the student is ready, the master appears:  Buddhist Proverb

I don’t think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday:  Abraham Lincoln

The purpose of learning martial arts is not just kicking and punching it is the complete development of our mind and optimistic spirit: Grandmaster Baez

If we cannot overcome our own fears and anger we will never learn to truly help others: Grandmaster Baez

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty:  Henry Ford

Every act of conscious learning requires the willingness to suffer an injury to one’s self-esteem. That is why young children, before they are aware of their own self-importance, learn so easily: Thomas Szasz

A good teacher has been defined as one who makes himself progressively unnecessary:  Thomas J. Caruthers

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain – and most fools do:  Benjamin Franklin

Only a fool learns from the ousted student when he can learn from the Master: Chinese Proverb

When a student turns from his Master he missed the lessons on loyalty and honesty, anyone that follows the

student is a fool and also lacks the character to see the truth:  Chinese Proverb

Are you depressed or lonely at times?

Life is like a cup of water. Without empting the cup and learning new things, you become stagnate and boring to yourself and others. Basic human nature is to look for outside items to fill a negative void (new partner, drugs or unnecessary possessions) or to make one feel new, but be warned this is only a temporary fix. One needs to continue improving oneself from the inside, empty the cup and set new positive goals, so as not to feel empty or lonely inside.

Do you feel sad, depressed or lonely at times?  Then you need to improve your attitude about life.  Master Baez Martial Arts will assist you in becoming positive again and correcting your bad habits and negativity. In the process of learning at Master Baez Martial Arts, you will make good friends, get in shape and feel fantastic.  Take control of your life; don’t let your life control you.

 Sparring, Anger and Control.

Some people think of control in a physical way only, well control must be carried to our daily lives in all aspects. We as Martial Artists must control our own fears, hate and anger and insecurities. Is sparring for everyone?, NO, if your afraid to see your true self and your hidden fears, do not go to sparring class until you are ready to find yourself and learn to be humble or you will quit.

We as Martial Artists must learn to control our emotions and insecurities and should not use our fellow students as our own ego builders. We are all hear to learn and train our minds, body and Martial Arts Spirit. without controlling your mind you cannot improve your techniques or your life. Sparring is the practical application of Martial Arts. Remember, everybody is here to improve their lives and attitudes. If you get upset with someone maybe you should look inside first, learn forgiveness and patience. In sparring accidents happen so keep calm and focus on respect and mental control.

Stress Is Not Just an Adult Problem

Screaming kids, spousal misunderstandings, blaring alarm clocks, deadlines approaching, interruptions, phones ringing off the hook, arriving late to a meeting, bad news, bills needing to be paid, slow traffic, health problems, computer crashes, household chores, taxes, bosses on your case . . . stress, stress and more stress. As an adult, you are exposed to abundant stress in your life, but so are your children. Remember what it was like to be a child:

  • Struggling to discover yourself
  • Wanting to be an individual
  • Worrying about good grades
  • Dealing with peer pressure
  • Dealing with body changes
  • Facing the looming temptation of sex, drugs or alcohol
  • Trying to fit in and to be accepted by peers
  • Seeking approval from parents, teachers and peers
  • Seeking to be acknowledged, appreciated and valued

On top of all that is the added stress that children often feel as a result of parents’ problems – spousal arguments, divorce, money issues, death in the family, etc.The link between stress, health and the proper functioning of the immune system has been the subject of intense studies, and according to recent studies, stress contributes to 50% of all illnesses in the United States. Stress causes physiological reactions which throw the body out of balance.  When left unchecked or ignored often causes tiredness and sickness. Studies have found that on days when people reported significant daily stress, they were two or three times more likely to report stomach pains, headaches or muscle pains.

Stress weakens the immune system, increasing susceptibility to infectious disease and even cancer. There is even speculation that stress may cause memory loss by interfering with information transmission between brain cells. In addition to affecting health, stress also affects a child’s sense of well-being and life-energy. It can cause them to do, be and say things that may not be in their best interest or that they might later regret. They may get defensive, argumentative or impatient in their interactions with people and can have an attitude problem or become truant at school.

Their ability to love others and to be tolerant of mistakes is diminished. They feel anxious and frustrated, worrying about the future and worrying about what people think of them. They start making mistakes and having accidents. They get forgetful. They lose their self-confidence. They lose their sense of self. How can you, as a parent, be more nurturing and supportive in helping your children deal more effectively with the stresses in their life? The most important way, as you’ve probably been doing all along, is to continue to be understanding and patient with them.  Plus, remember that stress itself is not nearly as important as how a person reacts to it. Teach your children ways to deal with stress. Here are eight techniques to effectively deal with stress:

  1. Take a break. No matter how difficult something may appear, a change of pace, no matter how short, can do wonders toward opening up new ways of looking at the problem. Teach your children the value of taking time for themselves.
  2. Listen to your body. When a person is tense, the head starts aching, the heart beats faster, the stomach gets queasy, muscles get tight, etc. Educate them about noticing the signs of stress and encourage them to slow down when their body is signaling that they are pushing too hard.
  3. Get plenty of sleep. Sleep improves one’s ability to deal with stressful situations. Provide an environment that allows them to get enough sleep each night.
  4. Work it off. When feeling blue, angry, hurt or upset, Martial Arts works wonders toward relaxing the body and helping one to deal with mental stress. Encourage your children to use Martial Arts as a method to release the pressure.
  5. Talk it over.When things build up, talking with someone who listens and is compassionate and understanding can go a long way toward reducing the pressure. But children tend to only open up to those who they feel they can trust, who won’t be judgmental, and who will help them to find their own solutions, instead of always telling them what to do.

Notice more things to appreciate.

The more one focuses on the stresses of life, the more stresses one finds to focus on. But it’s very difficult to feel bad when one is thinking about things one appreciates and loves. Inform your children about the value of noticing the joys and blessings in life. Remind your child/ children that not everything in life is difficult or stressful. Some examples of things to add to the appreciation journal might be:

  • The wonders they felt as they learned a new idea or skill in school
  • The excitement of connecting through laughter or words with a friend or teacher
  • Acknowledgement they received from a teacher, friend or mentor
  • The feeling of joy after lending a helping hand
  • Something they did for somebody else that caused that person to feel good
  • Being asked to join a club
  • Making a good play in a game
  • Watching the laughter of a child
  • Helping someone to learn something new
  1. Find a different way to perceive the situation.

    For every situation that we encounter, we strive to make meaning of it – who did what to whom, why it happened, what it meant, how I was affected by it, etc. However, our perspective is often one-sided and limited, so that what we think happened is often not the entire story and sometimes is even a distorted version. Encourage your teenagers to step back from their own point of view, to see if there is another side of the story that they have not seen which can help them to be more understanding and compassionate of others.

Helping your children to deal more effectively with stress has many benefits, some of which are:

  • They have better coping skills to deal with life’s pressures.
  • They become more self-confident as they learn to solve their own problems and issues.
  • They take a more active interest in life instead of feeling overwhelmed by life.
  • They have better relationships with people (including you) because they feel good about themselves.

Empty Your Cup, Open Your Heart

As we get older we gain more knowledge and our hearts become a little cold, we accumulate knowledge like we gather and store material possessions, the only problem with this is sometimes life becomes stagnant like water in a cup and the learning stops. Every day we wake up, go to work, get home and go to sleep, life has become boring and stale. the next thing you know some people are living an undisciplined life style, divorce, drinking, drugs are filling that lost void.

To feel new, empty your cup of your fears, angers, attitudes, temptations and search for new knowledge and create a better family and look for happiness within your own heart. What you need is within your own heart and mind. If your life is boring it’s because you are boring and you have made it that way. Re-open your heart and mind so you can learn not just new knowledge but wisdom. let your knowledge and heart flow like the ocean, always moving, always bending, always strong and giving

Can you spare some time?

A man came home from work late again, tired and irritated. He found his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.”Daddy, may I ask you a question?””Yeah, sure, what is it?” replied the man.”Daddy, how much money do you make an hour?””What makes you ask such a thing?” the man said angrily.”I just want to know . . .   please tell me, how much do you make an hour?” pleaded the little boy.”If you must know, I make $30.00 an hour.””Oh…!” the little boy replied, head bowed.

Looking up, he said, “Daddy, may I borrow $10.00 please?”The father was mad. “If the only reason you wanted to know how much money I make is just so you can borrow some to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you better march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you’re being so selfish.  I work long, hard hour’s everyday and don’t have time for such childish games.

“The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even madder about the little boy’s questioning. How dare he ask such questions, only to get some money? After an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think he may have been a little hard on his son.  Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $10.00 and he really didn’t ask for money very often.

The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door.   “Are you asleep son?” he asked. “No daddy, I’m awake,” replied the boy. “I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier,” said the man.  “It’s been a long day, and I took my aggravation out on you.  Here’s that $10.00 you asked for.”The little boy sat straight up, beaming.  “Oh, thank you daddy,” he yelled.

Then reaching under his pillow, he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man seeing that the boy already had money started to get angry again.  The little boy slowly counted out his money then looked up at his father. “Why did you want more money if you already had some?” the father grumbled.”Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,” the little boy replied.  “Daddy, I have $30.00 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?”

Freedom and Responsibility

The founding fathers embraced liberty and freedom and they were fully aware of the responsibility, knowing that placing their signatures on the Declaration of Independence could unleash dire consequences, even death. For the promise of greater freedom and independence, they committed themselves to inspiring, financing and directing a perilous struggle, the harshness and duration of which few could ever have envisioned. From that struggle and the struggle thereafter and from the brave members of the armed forces came the freedoms we cherish today, including freedom of religion, speech, press and expression.

Never in the history of mankind had such sweeping powers been won for the individual.  Never before had so many people enjoyed such a degree of personal freedom and never had such a large group of people abused or misused such freedoms. But what is freedom, and why do we need responsibility?

If you live alone on a mountain top, then how you dress, what you say and how you behave only affects you. If you live in a community, then you must follow certain rules to protect our cherished freedoms.  This is an ongoing balance; too much freedom then society becomes rampant.  However, if you live in a society that hinders or denies your freedoms, then you have no choices or true liberties.

In the world of freedom, there will always be a choice between good and bad.  An individual may or may not be aware of the reality of this great power.  The privilege of having freedoms rests ultimately on the individual and the teaching of family values. Only we, the people, can permit our freedoms to be taken in this day and age.  We must protect our liberties and fight for what is moral without creating an imbalance.

The concept of freedom and responsibility remains true whether the individual is aware of the importance or acts blindly, making choices based on fear, half thoughts and negative reactions. Freedom exists universally for all humans, and those who ignore other people’s freedoms or exploit their own freedoms without thinking of others selfish. Those who use such freedoms to corrupt society are immoral, and those who take away others’ freedoms are evil.

On the other hand, it takes a great deal of courage for one to acknowledge the reality of freedom, that she/he has such great choices in a free world and therefore has great responsibility for every second of his/ her life.  Responsibility for freedom is extremely important, and how we behave morally and react to life’s daily challenges is all part of those freedoms; we can succeed, fail, become rich or live poor; that is up to us.  The more we let certain twisted individuals set rules for society, the more people behave like undisciplined children, or the more we don’t vote to protect such freedoms, then we as a whole, will continue to lose those freedoms.

We must look towards the future and use our freedoms wisely, for in a heartbeat we may let those freedoms slip from our hands. Those who can both realize this freedom and stand up to the awesome responsibility that it brings, will be awarded the maximum opportunity for personal growth and true liberty.

The Stress Monster

Father’s Day is coming soon, so I would like to cover stress in a father’s and a mother’s daily life. For this article, I am going to cover a good father/mother, one who loves, gives without question and who provides for his/her family. If both parents work outside the home, then both should share the daily duties and never forget to fight the “stress monster” together to create family harmony and balance.

Studies show that men and women handle stress differently; scientists attribute this, in part, to estrogen. This hormonal difference may also account for the fact that women are three times more likely to develop depression in response to the stress in their lives than are men. Women, unlike men, tend to have stronger social support networks to which they can turn during times of stress. These social supports may help explain why women, in general, seem to be better able to cope with stress than men.  Men are taught at a young age that “real men” don’t complain, so men are liable to keep stress bottled up.

“Bread winners” of families where one parent works, also have many worries about performing to a standard that makes bosses happy, so as to keep a current position at work. The “bread winner” will worry whether he/ she makes too little income. His/her may worry if he/she will lose his or her job and can keep the family fed. In addition, the “bread winner” loses sleep over working too much and not spending enough time with the children. He/ She may worry if his/ her spouse is unhappy, if the spouse will love him/ her, when it feels as though the spouse loses respect, doesn’t show his/ her love to the “bread winner”, shows coldness and bitterness or displays signs of leaving for someone who can provide more.

There is worry whether the individual is a good husband, wife, mother or father. What we must all realize is that feelings of stress come from inside ourselves and we can learn to keep our reactions under control. Six ways to reduce stress are to 1) Stay calm, relax and breathe 2) Assist each other in making “your” home a castle 3) Be more loving and understanding with each other needs 4) Hug on a daily bases 5) Take short walks and hold hands 6) Find an activity the entire family can do together.

Martial Arts is a great form of stress relief and exercise for people of all ages. Many people think martial arts are just punching, kicking and yelling. Besides learning self-defense, Martial Arts practitioners develop self-confidence, self-respect, self-awareness, self-control and relaxation techniques. Martial Arts’ development programs help children improve focus and grades.The best stress prevention for fathers and mothers is Martial Arts classes for the entire family; the family that kicks together, sticks together.

Children and Responsibility

Responsibility can only be learned by children when they are being held accountable for their behavior.  Within any reasonable system of accountability, there must be consequences. One of the reasons for having children follow rules is to teach them to assume responsibilities.  When a child is given the responsibility for cleaning his/her bedroom, and he/she needs to be constantly reminded by the parent, the parent still has the responsibility for seeing that the bedroom is clean; otherwise, the child is controlling the parent, rather than the parent being in charge of the situation.

Setting rules and consequences is a way of encouraging children to take responsibilities.  When a child knows that he has a job, and if not performed, certain consequences follow.  In turn, the child will be encouraged to take his responsibilities more seriously. Teaching responsibility is life’s reality training and is essential for a child’s successful future.  Negative behavior by children may be viewed as a sign that they are not taking responsibility for their own behavior.  When a child is constantly being reprimanded for something he’s doing, it also shows that the child is not taking responsibility himself or for that behavior.

When children do not learn in school, it usually shows that they are not taking responsibility for learning, or that teacher is not emphasizing responsibility.  Constantly having to remind, forcing the child or completing the task for the child are ways in which parents take valuable lessons in responsibility away from children. This is why Martial Arts Training in responsibility is one of most important contributions parents can make for a child’s future.

When a child knows what to do and when to do it, the responsibility for completing the job becomes the child’s.  This is why we reward children with medals and trophies for excelling in Martial Arts classes and taking the time needed to study their patterns at home. Martial Arts also rewards children who show they can perform responsibility drills (like excelling in school, having good manners, respecting others, cleaning their rooms, and assisting in home chores) as well as consequences for not being responsible ( taking away a belt rank for a period of time).

Note: Parents, who show irresponsibility and constantly break promises, do not provide a role-model for responsibility for their children. Martial Arts family classes benefit the entire family in becoming more disciplined and responsible. Responsibility builds respect, and a higher self-esteem, which will affect all areas of a child’s life and create a better tomorrow.

 Improve your life

What is Martial Arts? It is an art for self development, self defense in life and the improvement of your life. You will benefit in ways you have never dreamed of while overcoming your obstacles.  If you’re honest with yourself and others and you train hard, the sky is the limit.

As a martial art, Martial Arts teaches true expression, goal setting, harmony, inner peace and a winning attitude. Martial Arts builds balance in your mind, body, and heart and improves spiritual harmony, which will bring you closer to your personal beliefs. Martial Arts is an art form.  If you’re honest and humble, it will assist you to see your weak points as if you had a magnifying glass.  It will assist in making your life more focused and happier.

Martial Arts will also assist you in overcoming your fears and in breaking any negative habits that were created from your childhood and which might hold you back from happiness.  Sometimes, experiences come back to haunt you, as an adult, in the form of depression, negativity, anxiety or low self esteem, which if not corrected will affect your family, friendships and future.

To become successful in your life, you must face your fears and anxieties.  Nobody says it’s going to be easy.  You might not like what you see, and it may feel easier to run away, but a winner will fight, even if it takes a lifetime. Set strong goals and a vision for a better tomorrow. If you want to be happy… be happy and remember winning and happiness are simply choices.

Success is not measured by just money, but by spiritual wealth and true inner happiness.  Ask yourself, are you truly happy.  If not, what do you want to improve?  Do you want to improve your daily confidence, income, family life, friendships, marriage or relationships? Well, the best place to start is with you.

You could spend thousands of dollars on seminars to learn from motivational speakers; in fact many of these speakers have black belts in Martial Arts. If you’re happy, but just a little board with your daily routine, then exciting, fun Master Baez Martial Arts  or Self-defense classes  will improve many other areas in your life, like your health, personal protection and leadership skills. Adults benefit from Martial Arts, and children will improve focus, school grades and develop leadership skills.  It is never too late to be happy.

 Overcoming the Negative Past

I am saddened at times when I see parents just leaving or dropping off their child at a special event or

big game, or even worse breaking a promise to a child where the child needs parental support and encouragement.  Then the same parent wonders why their child/children are not doing well in other areas like education, self-motivation, goal setting, respect issues and responsibilities. I, myself, understand how that child must feel, since I was in those shoes once; I had the same thing done to me over and over by my parents.  It is not easy feeling left out or not important enough for my parents’ time.  I remember seeing all the other parents supporting their children and rooting them on with just a simple smile and a hug.  I don’t blame my parents, I blame the circumstances in life that caused this negativity actions to happen.

Now, as a black belt, with years of positive Martial Arts training, I really don’t think much about the negativity in my past, and when an obstacle arises I conquer it in a positive way. I advise other people who might have had a not so great or even a bad childhood, “Get over your past, look towards a positive future.  You only have one life to live and deserve true happiness, so live it well and stop blaming others for your “today” weakness… a weakness which you have the control of today and which belongs to you. Face your fears; take control of your future.

The strength and positive energy is in front of you, so take it, it’s yours.  Look in the mirror every morning and smile; make everyday a happy day and slow down to look at the stars; keep your mind busy with positive thoughts, so you don’t need to look back; make friends with positive people who can help the positive person in you grow; and if possible, at all costs, avoid negative people, negative places and bad habits.”

I believe everyone can live for the future and work hard to overcome obstacles, because it is these challenges that make us stronger.  It makes life real and the fruits of life so much sweeter when we overcome our adversities.

Martial Arts or Self-defense training for adults will help break the chains of any past negativity that might bind your success and happiness. And if you are a parent with a child, Master Baez Martial Arts has special family classes. These classes will change your life by assisting in building stronger, healthier individuals and families, while helping improve relationships and friendships. The family that kicks together sticks together.

 Preventing Negativity

 The following article is for positive child development and is intended to assist in preventing negativity and

fears from developing.  If your child/children have no problems, feel lucky and blessed.

This piece of writing is designed to assist parents in improving a child’s future and bring better harmony to each family.  In At Master Baez Martial Arts we understand that all children are different.  We also understand that there are good parents and great parents. We understand that in parents’ eyes, their child is perfect, as we feel they all are.  But remember, in the pressures of the real world, many things can negatively influence a child if parents are not on their toes.  That is where Master Baez Martial Arts Life Skills positive reinforcement program will not only assist children in being more positive, but assist them in avoiding those negative influences. As with children, parents who learn Martial Arts will become more energized, more positive and happier in their daily lives.

I, myself, am a parent and sometimes we, as parents, must change our habits to improve our children’s future as well as our own.  The keys to becoming a great parent are love, hugs, patience, acknowledgement of positive behavior, self discipline, understanding, fairness, responsibility and most importantly, good time management skills.  If you don’t have time for your child/children, then they will feel empty in many areas of their lives.  We, as parents, spend our days stressed out, working towards materialism and showing off to others. We lose sight of what is really important. Our children would rather play with Mom or Dad than have a new Lexus.

If you want to understand your child/children, open your heart and feelings and place yourself in their shoes.  Let me ask you, if the person you loved with all your heart never was around, always put their own feelings above yours and was too busy to spend time with you, how would you react? If this was your spouse, you would get up, leave and ask for a divorce as many parents do, but your kids have no other place to go.  We, as parents, need to change our parenting skills and negative attitudes and habits towards all the ones we love.

Master Baez Martial Arts family classes can help you and your child/children become closer, happier and more balanced. Training at Master Baez Martial Arts can assist in improving children’s lives by helping them with fears and building self-discipline, concentration, while developing a goal setting attitude.  Master Baez Martial Art training will help improve your child/children’s habits and outlook on life, if you are willing to improve your own parenting habits.

Positive Discipline for Children

Many parents object to any form of discipline or punishments for children, letting their children run and scream rampant.  They don’t teach their children etiquette, manners or respect of other people’s property or privacy.  I have seen children screaming at restaurants and jumping on other people’s tables, while hearing the parents comment on how cute the child is. Seems to me in today’s world, that many parents are too tired or busy or are more interested in only making friends with their children and don’t want to parent. These parents permit their minor children to use cell phones without supervision so they can date older teens behind their backs, get pierced and tattooed to look cool and then run around with no supervision and dress and behave inappropriately.

Parents use the justification that it would be better to reward a child for good behavior and give them what they want, rather than to punish him/her for bad decisions or not acting properly. It has been my observation that many parents who hold this position end up failing as parents and feeling guilty or resentful in the future because they have to correct the issued that were swept under the rug. Then they try to create self-discipline and rules in a child’s teen years. This almost never works.

If the world was constructed so that we only received rewards for good things we did, and the bad behaviors and attitudes were overlooked, rewarding children as a general approach would probably make more sense. But wake up parents, this is the real world.   What major company will hire an undisciplined, unorganized individual with no respect for his/her fellow workers?

Setting rules and limits for children is not only a way of organizing them, but also a way of teaching them about the real world.  The closer children’s experiences can approach the world that they will face thought life, the better prepared they will be to face the life in which they find themselves.  Reaching adulthood can be a cruel awakening for a child who has not received punishment or had limits set for him or her.

Clinical observations also point out that children who have not learned to deal with limits have a very difficult time setting limits for themselves and accepting external limits, when they become adults.

Remember, when showing discipline, always explain the negative action and show love during and after any disciplinary action.

How do you discipline your child?

I personally have found that the best way is always setting the guidelines (behavior, etiquette, manners and future dating) prior to the negative actions arising; this will avoid many future communication issues. Then set the disciplinary action for such negative attitudes and behaviors.  Set rules and chores to teach responsibility and make your child responsible for their own chores and their future.  There is nothing wrong with a good old fashioned grounding or time-out.

Remember, consistency is the key.  Always follow through with your child’s punishments, never threaten what you cannot or will not follow through with and good behavior now does not excuse bad behavior yesterday, it only shows that the lesson is being learned.  The younger a child begins to follow the rules, the easier childhood is for the parents and the child.  Even babies understand verbal tones.

Setting guidelines at a young age and enrolling your child in a leadership style program (Scouting, Master Baez Martial Arts, Music, Dance) will help prepare you child for a great future.  Parents need to commit and find time to direct their children toward a positive future.

Push-ups is a great form of discipline…..               

Showing Appreciation

I thought I would cover this topic with the holidays coming so close.

I see many married couples forgetting to show appreciation to each other on a regular basis.  What is appreciation?  Let me explain, a married couple should be like a grapevine, intertwining and close.  Appreciation is the fertilizer and love is the water. You can constantly water your vine, but without fertilizer it will not grow or produce sweet fruit.  Nobody really wants vinegar, but yet many people only expect things and forget to show appreciation.  They become unkind and hurtful to their spouses making their spouses start to pull away and become cold.  This coldness will just cause the vine to unwind even further and fall apart.

What does this mean as a married couple?  Simply put, you will lose that “loving’ feeling”, the closeness, the happiness and the creativity to keep your relationship going.  Then you leave only to find out that the wine is not always sweeter in a different vineyard.  How can we repair a dying vine?  We need to trim the dead branches, re-fertilize the plant and give it water, love and caring.

The question is, if you are at the point you feel things are falling apart, what are you going to do, run from yourself, run from the happiness that can be? Or maybe you will start a new relationship and then watch the vine die all over again?  I am here to tell you “make it work and work together as a couple,” which last time I checked means “two people.”  It takes two people to make wine. Think about it, even the best wine makers need someone to taste the wine and show appreciation. If there is no appreciation, why even bother to put in all the time for no recognition.

When we express appreciation to the ones we love, we give them a sense of significance, a sense of well-being.  And this deep appreciation is the key to a long, loving relationship. It is basic human nature that we all, on average, need several things in life to survive as a race and create inner happiness, peace and growth:

1) Food & Water 2) Spirituality & Harmony 3) Love & Appreciation 4) Procreation 5) Creativity

Showing appreciation to our loved ones tells them that they are respected and cherished, and they are important enough to receive recognition. Expressing true appreciation to your loved ones says that their work, dedication, actions and responsibilities are appreciated by the people they admire and love the most.  Appreciation gives people a sense of importance — feeling as though they are treasured and that their accomplishments and hard work do make a significant difference in our lives.

Not only should husbands and wives show each other appreciation, but parents, children, teachers, instructors and friends should also show appreciation to each other.  Parents, especially, should show appreciation to their children.  Not only is this very important for the development of self esteem, but doing so will help with discipline in the home.  Remember, the more you praise children for what they are doing right, the less you have to condemn and correct them for doing something wrong.

Many parents find it difficult to express their feelings, not only with their spouses, but they also create the same negative habits with their children. Appreciation is not only about caring for your loved ones, but it is about learning to speak up by telling your loved ones what you appreciate from your heart and then following it with an action.  Remember, appreciation comes from the heart and is not just lip service, you know, the old “I appreciate you, but I won’t do anything for you or lift a finger to assist you around the house” or “not tonight, I have a headache.”

Here are some drills to show your appreciation to your loved ones. Whenever you discipline your child, always follow it with love and clarification.

Appreciation drills for children:

1) Show appreciation for completed homework and excelling at school.
2) Show appreciation for completed chores.
3) Show appreciation for not fighting with siblings and being kind.
4) Show appreciation for good behavior.
5) Show appreciation with hugs and love.

While giving praise is necessary to a child’s well-being, make sure they also feel secure and accepted for who they are.  This will prevent a child who will only relate to you on a performance basis.  Children need to know you will love them whether they succeed or make mistakes.

Appreciation drills for spouses and couples:

1) Show appreciation and notice the things that your spouse has done.
2) Show appreciation with flowers.
3) Show appreciation by spending special time together.
4) Show appreciation and spend the time needed to grow as one.
5) Show appreciation by remembering birthdays, anniversaries & holidays.
6) Show appreciation by giving daily hugs, kisses and saying “I love you.”
7) Show appreciation by being thoughtful and caring.
8) Show appreciation by being creative and spontaneous.

Trim your branches and water your vine and then give it the time and the fertilizer needed to grow.  If you are stingy on the fertilizer or are you’re too lazy to cut away the dying branches, you will just create a negative action, causing a negative reaction.

Grandmaster Baez Master Baez Martial Arts

Life Skills After School Program

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